I got this off the net back when 28.8 was the fastest thing going. Just found it (and some other funnies) during a file search. Enjoy!How Trains get 'Hitched' ...
We are gathered here today in accordance with the STB, FRA, AAR and other regulatory bodies to unite these two units in M.U. service. If anyone takes exception, file your grievance or get in the clear.(Groom's name) Do you take this woman to be your trailing unit, tying down your pin lifter forever, and permanently restricting yourself from interchange service, even with newer, freshly painted units, remaining coupled despite flat wheels, sticking brakes, even unto bad orders and major derailments, until you are both rendered unto scrap? If so, signify by sounding your whistle as prescribed by GCOR Rule 5.8.2, example 4.And, (Groom's name), do you promise to pull this unit up ruling grades, using throttle and brake wisely to prevent rough train handling, broken knuckles, and pulled drawbars, applying sand as necessary to prevent wheel slip, so that you both crest the hill together, regardless of the trailing tonnage? If so, signify by sounding your whistle as prescribed by GCOR Rule 5.8.2, example 4.And do you also promise not to cut away from your trailing unit, even when her side sheets have rusted through, and her paint job has faded? If so, signify by sounding your whistle as prescribed by GCOR Rule 5.8.2, example 4. Now, (Bride's name), do you take this man to be your lead unit, tying down your pin-lifter forever, and permanently removing yourself from interchange service, even with newer series, high-adhesion, high-horsepower units, remaining coupled despite flat wheels, sticking brakes, even unto bad orders and major derailments, until you are both rendered unto scrap? If so, signify by sounding your whistle as prescribed by GCOR Rule 5.8.2, example 4.And do you promise to respond promptly to throttle and brake commands from your lead unit, handling your share of the tonnage, and helping your lead unit up ruling grades when necessary, being ever cautious to avoid unnecessary drawbar buffer forces? If so, signify by sounding your whistle as prescribed by GCOR Rule 5.8.2, example 4. Do you also promise to remain coupled to your lead unit, even when he has traction motors cut out, and can no longer develop full horsepower? If so, signify by sounding your whistle as prescribed by GCOR Rule 5.8.2, example 4.Now, (Bride and Groom), as a token of your intent to M.U., make the joint and stretch the slack.By the power invested in me by the General Manager, Superintendent of Operations, and the Road Foreman of Engines, I now pronounce you permanently coupled. You may cut in the air.
JOhn
Oldrailfan
Railfan means anything on rails! Trains Trolleys Rollercoasters - you name it.
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